Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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