Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Everclear isn't food dammit
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize