My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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