my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
