found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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