i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
