we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
