I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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