I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
