I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
