Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
