Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
