Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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