At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
