It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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