OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
