I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
