if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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