He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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