the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
