I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize