The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize