did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he wants to bone in the snuggie
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
