she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
