dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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