Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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