I faked an abortion last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
