I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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