Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
