You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
