i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
