Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
