Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize