you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
