Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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