Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
