I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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