Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
