Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize