so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize