Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
