Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Someone signed my nipple.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
