i would punch a child for taco bell
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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