Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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