Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I need moral support for this bender
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
