I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
