Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
