You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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