bring money and cleavage
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
