first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
