I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
