I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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