And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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