So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
