She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
