just come out here and I will go home with you...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
