She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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