You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
