I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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