and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
