Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
