If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize