The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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