So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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