Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
