She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
