Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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