i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
