I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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