i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
