is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
