Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
