mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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