ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Soap is not a condiment
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize